It’s easy to convince yourself that it’s fine the way it is. Not really that good but not too bad either. After all it could be so much worse than fine. But easy becomes impossible when you truly start to care. Because the second you care, you have something to lose.
It’s not easy to be alone all the time – but it’s not exactly easy to have company either. Especially if that company turns out to be bad for you. But every once in a while, it becomes so easy to like someone. Someone who seems to make every day a little brigther and everything a little better. Someone who makes you care so much, it should be terrifying. Except all of a sudden, it’s not.
It’s difficult to sit around and wait for that one day in the future, where it all will come to pass. Knowing it might all go to shit anyway. But even if it‘s just for that little ray of sunshine, that small piece of happiness – isn’t it all worth trying? Isn’t it all worth everything? Even if it turns out to be an illusion afterwards, for now it is real. And maybe that’s all that matters.
It’s lonely to be alone all of a sudden. Lonely to be so far away. But somehow it’s still better. Everything might fall apart soon…but what if it doesn’t?