Rid of you

If you don’t know what you want you won’t find it anywhere. I thought I wanted you. But now I can’t have you. Never have you. So I’ve got to find something else that I want. And still I keep cycling back around you.

Do you want me? No, you don’t want me anywhere in any part of your life. But I still do. I still think that maybe – if things could be different – if I could be different – if anything could be different…so yeah, I’m only kidding myself. I know that.

It got easier. I kept thinking less about you and stopped dreaming about you. Until a few days ago that was. And then suddenly you were back. Out of the blue you came back. But you still don’t want me. You don’t want any part of me. And I still want anything you’d be willing to share with me.

I said that I’m empty but actually that was a lie. Because actually I feel so much – too much, way too much – to contain it and so I began to shut down. Well, I tried to. I know you don’t care. You wouldn’t even care if I fell apart right before your feet.