English Leben


I don’t like reality any more. Everything here is difficult and limited and somehow impossible to achieve. Real people are most likely a disappointment and real feelings just always hurt you in the end. Reality is cruel and harsh and somehow it seems like no one here is speaking my language.

Everything in this reality seems to be based on things you have to do, have to believe, have to want, have to have – all in order to be happy. But is anyone here really happy? If so they must hide pretty well because all hear is complaints about how hard life is. How much money everything costs and how there is always not enough money to achieve your dreams. It’s tiring and boring to be honest.

Grow the fuck up!

Every time I ask someone why they keep living a life that obviously makes them miserable, they answer: “Because that’s how things are.” Life is unfair. Get used to it. Well, but what if I don’t want to? Then the usually shake their head in disbelief and tell me to grow up. I’m not gonna lie to you, I used to be like that – not long ago I would’ve told you to grow up. Because I thought if I keep repeating it I might believe it myself someday. Except I never did.

The tenth man

Did anyone of you watch the movie “World War Z”? It’s not a good movie to be honest, but it had one interesting concept: The tenth man. In a short car drive an Israeli statesman explains to the main character Brad Pitt how this works. If nine people observe a situation and come to the same conclusion, it becomes the duty of the tenth person to look at that situation with the assumption that the other nine people were wrong. Needless to say, that tenth person will probably end up with a totally different conclusion.

What if reality is just an illusion?

Now think about that for one second and then image this: What if you looked at your life with the assumption that everything other people told you is wrong? Yeah, it’s pretty frightening, I know. But if you kept reading until this point you’re probably a bit like me. You have this nagging feeling in the back of your head that keeps telling you something isn’t quite right. Something is missing. In my case it has always been missing.

Quit reality

I can’t tell you what to do. Maybe you can keep ignoring this feeling, hoping it will go away. Maybe for you it will. It didn’t for me. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it. So what I’m going to do now, is quit reality. I don’t care if you tell me that this impossible. I don’t care if you tell me that I will fail – I failed my whole life because I believed in so many things people told me. But here is the thing: A square doesn’t fit in a triangle and it’s actually not supposed to.

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