No fate

There are only a few things in life that never change. And honestly – most of those few never change because we don’t want them to. Maybe because it’s easier that way or maybe cause we don’t think it’s worth the fight. A few – -very few – of the few are unchangeable, because you can never alter the core of any living soul.

I don’t believe in fate. Because if there is fate there is no room for coincidence, fault or chances. There would be only one way to go and no possibility to burst a bubble once you recognized it. I think that there is always another way, another life that could be lived if necessary. This might sound destructive but I guess you’ll only get a chance to accomplish something if you don’t take anything for granted. Except the fact that you can’t change what’s inside of you.

Some things are easily acquired and therefore easily hidden. We all learn at a very young stage in our lives what we are supposed to be like, what society expects of us. And we continue that in every further step we take into the world. We learn what’s proper and to be expected, when to laugh and to cry. We realize when it’s time to step forward or better to retreat. And most of all, we learn to adapt our personality in order to meet the expectations and select the ones we choose to ignore. But adaption never truly changes us it just sometimes makes us believe that it did.

I can lead if needed, but in general I’ll prefer to stand on the sidelines watching. I can be bold if necessary, but I’ll always stick with subtlety if possible. I can be reasonable, but will mostly be headstrong first. I’ll never follow if I’m not forced to. And I’ll never agree if I think it’s worth a fight. I just don’t like fights very much. I’ll never have a little crush, because I’m always either in love or not.

There are so many versions of me that sometimes I wonder which one truly is me. I think I’m all of them, with the possibility of more to come. But, those simple facts about me will never change, in neither of them: I’m headstrong. I’m weird, crazy even. I’m shy. I’m always in or out of love. And I don’t live to please anyone’s expectations. And well, I care too damn much. Those things may be rearranged from time to time but never changed.

So no, I do not accept my fate – I just accept the person I am. Actually, I like the person I am, because I can handle her. I might even be the only one that ever can.