I don’t have to do anything!

D.ReichertIt doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that it I don’t care what others say or that I don’t want to fit their expectations. Sometimes it gets really hard to convince myself.

And sometimes a few words can wipe away any doubt. Nothing manages to give me more self-assurance than being judged by people who don’t know me.

Me: “No, I don’t agree with you.”
“But come on you have to see that I am right and you should just move on.”
Me: “I don’t want to move on.”

“If we are honest every normal person thinks that homosexuality is strange.”
Me: “Then I am not normal.”
“But you judge them too, saying ‘those gay people’ don’t you?”
Me: “No. I just said that I know a gay guy when I see one. Not because I judge them, but because I’ve been around so many of them.”
“Ah –that’s delusional.”
Me: “No. It’s true.”

Me: “No I will never vote for someone who’s doing nothing.”
“But you can’t vote for the other one.”
Me: “Well, I can.”

“You know, you should eat less.”
“Why? Being skinny won’t make me happier. I’ll just be permanently hungry – you don’t want to be around me when I am constantly hungry.”
“But you’d look a lot nicer.”
“I think I look good the way I am.”

“So what if you fall in love with a guy who’s allergic to cats.”
Me: “Well, that’s his problem.”
“Ha! No, it would be yours.”
Me: “I’ll never give away my cats just to be with some guy.”
“Well, if you continue thinking like this you’ll never find a guy.”
Me: “So? Who says I have to?”

You want to judge me? Please, go right ahead. You just made me remember why I can’t make myself to care about you. Because you don’t want me but some picture of me you have in your head.
I can never be that and honestly? I don’t want to.

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